FAQ:

I work with all couples (straight, queer & all in between, married & not, love & arranged, monogamous & open) who, at one point, fell in love, and are now struggling to keep their relationship alive. I believe in love between people, and the inevitable difficulties that arise in the crucible of a close, long-term, romantic relationship. Most couples I work with are intercultural / international in some way (your partner is from a different culture, or one or both of you are living outside your home country).

There are 2 clear exceptions:

• I am unable to work with couples where physical aggression towards yourself or each other takes place. Physical aggression is a sign that one or both of you are becoming too emotionally reactive during conflict, making it very difficult to reconnect safely over vulnerable topics. If this is taking place in your relationship, my strong advise is to take a pause from one another and to seek out individual anger-management therapy first. (in Dutch: 'agressie-regulatie therapie')

• I am unable to work with couples where during our session you are unable to listen to each other / primarily communicate with each other through rejection, blame, anger, hatred or humiliation. If this is the case, I strongly recommend seeking out individual therapy first & starting with cultivating greater meaning / connection / joy outside your partnership.

It takes a lot of guts to allow a stranger into the privacy of what happens between the two of you. I therefore encourage you to seek out someone you feel you can trust and be comfortable with, while taking this courageous move. Feel free to reach out and ask me any questions you might have, in order to determine if you can (both) feel secure with me.

I will do none of these things. Instead, in each session I will support you both in listening and talking more safely with one another, to better understand the pain and needs each of you have brought into the relationship.

Every relationship has growth & healing potential. Sometimes, that growth & healing may look like separating from one another as romantic partners. Nonetheless, I truly believe only you, and/or your partner, can know what decision feels right.

Whatever choices you end up taking about the nature of your relationship in the future, a more loving and understanding connection to and of one another will support both of you, whether in this current or possible future relationships.

Our work together is a joint effort: I'll help create the conditions — slowing down conflict, helping you hear what's underneath each other's words — but the untangling itself is something we do as a team, not something I do to you. Together, we'll look at how your own or your partner's behaviour (especially during conflict, or in expressing love) echoes what you experienced growing up. Usually, our biggest pain points show up when one or both of you, under stress, reverts to behaviour learned in childhood, or expects a partner to respond the way people did back then.

Intimate relationships are fundamentally difficult at times — some more than others. Skills you'll both build through this work include: getting curious about where your partner's (hurtful) behaviour actually comes from, voicing your own hurts and needs in non-violent ways, taking time to really listen and learn about each other's inner world, shaming and blaming less, accepting that your partner is radically different from you in some ways, and consciously creating more quality time together.

My work with you is guided by the couples counselling modalities I've trained in — Imago Relationship Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy — alongside my own ongoing learning.

• Payment happens automatically at the end of the booking process through my online calendar. Payment is possible via iDeal, bank transfer, creditcard and more.

• Alternatively, if I manually book you in, I will send you an invoice the day of your session. Please transfer this in advance or within a few days of our session. Let me know if you have any difficulties.

• If you are unable to make it to our session, please let me know up to 24 hours in advance. For cancellations within 24 hours I ask for a €25 cancellation fee to help cover my running costs, in case I can't find someone else to replace your timeslot.

Unfortunately not.

If you'd like to work with me but can't afford my full fee, please note that I offer some sliding-scale (reduced) fee spots. See below to find out how to apply.

I offer a few sliding-scale (reduced) fee spots at a time. I offer a €50 fee for students with limited income, and a €85 fee for (young) professionals with a limited income. These are valid for 60-minute session, in person or online. To apply for a sliding scale fee, please e-mail me with the following information:

• What's your current household financial situation like?

• What regular fee would you like to apply for?

• How long are you requesting this reduced fee for? (at the end of this period - we'll re-evaluate).